The darkness inside of me
by HuntingbirdCookies
Summary: When you're a little kid, you're scared of the dark, and the shadows. Skye was no different. Now, those nightmares are a reality and Skye can't escape them. The shadows dominate her every thought, day and night. Something has awakened in Skye, but she doesn't know what. After the events of season 2x10, Skye hasn't been the same. My AU speculation. (Not as dark as it seems)ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1- Guilt

**My AU speculation fic.**

**I've been meaning to post this for a while, and I've finally gotten around to it. I hope you all enjoy it, and please leave a review so I know I've done good!**

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**CHAPTER ONE- Guilt.**

"Skye?"

Simmons voice pierces through the air, and I look up from my laptop, at her. Simmons' has a inquisitive look upon her face.

"It's four in the morning, why are you up?" she asks me, sounding confused. Her confusion makes sense; I'm not know to be a afternoon person, let alone a morning person.

"Why are you?" I dart back the question at her, trying to get out of answering her question.

"I'm always up a four." she says, plainly. "Now, why you up?" She asks again. I sigh.

"Couldn't sleep." I don't tell her why. I don't tell her about the looming shadows in my dreams. I don't tell her about the darkness, surrounding me. I've had them for three weeks, since the temple, and I haven't told anyone. I just avoid sleep. The shadows scare me.

Simmons gives me a doubtful look, but carries on with doing what she always does. I think about telling her about the darkness that comes into my dreams. About how it entices me, to go into it, but also repulses me, and makes me want to run from it. I dismiss the idea- it's just dreams. They mean nothing.

Yet, there's a nagging voice at the back of my head that begs to differ. I decide to block out that voice. I don't want to believe the shadows mean something- I don't want them to be real.

Later, I'm training with May. She told me, after we got out the temple, that I could take a break, but I didn't want to. Especially when the dreams came. I just wanted to act as if everything is normal- what it isn't.

Nothing can be normal, not with these dreams, and definitely not without Tripp...

Poor Tripp.

When we got out if that temple, and back to the playground- I had to be debriefed. I told them about what happened to Tripp. To my surprise, they've taken it quite well, said there was nothing I could've done.

I know different.

There was nothing I could actually do, but if I wasn't down there, Tripp wouldn't even, and He wouldn't have died. They say there understand, but I feel horrible about Tripp's death. I carry the weight of his death on my shoulders. I feel like they should hate me for it, that they are being stupid to forgive me. Tripp's dead, and it's all because of me.

I should've never gone down. It's just causing me pain. Bad dreams, Tripp's death... and it's not even like I stopped Raina. We don't even have her in custody! As far as Raina goes, she's gone AWOL.

I was just so focused on Trip dying, and finding Coulson and Mack, that I didn't even see her slip away.

As far as I'm concerned, that entire thing was pointless. The world's the same, I'm not showing any signs of being different.

The whole 'awakening' my father was talking about was probabaly total bull.

All it's done is kill Tripp, just because he wasn't worthy. Wasn't worthy. Why am I worthy, but Trip isn't- wasn't? He was a great asset to SHIELD, fabulous soldier- much better than me- and a brilliant friend. In my mind, that makes him worthy. At least worthy to live. But apparently not.

The only good thing that came out of that whole trip was the fact Mack's been reverted back to his usual self. He says he can't remember doing anything, since he touched the temple floor. What I wonder is why did he get to survive, but Tripp didn't? If your going to save on person, you should save the other.

The team may be able to look past it, but I can't. When I close my eyes, that scene just replays itself over and over again. Tripp went down there for me. Me.

In my mind, that means I'm responsible for his death. I was 'worthy', he wasn't. It's all my fault, no matter what Coulson says.

It's my fault.

I look at May, as we train. I think she's pleased that I said I still want to train, even after Tripp died.

"May, stop holding back on me- I've told you, I'm fine," I tell the oriental woman. May's been awfully concerned for me these past weeks. Although it's nice to see her showing feelings, I want to stop being watched with careful eyes. They should believe me when I say I'm fine, even if it's a lie.

"Skye. Are you okay?" She asks, her face neutral but there's something in her eyes that I've been seeing a lot over these past few weeks. Concern.

"I'm fine, May. Really," I force a smile, pushing the thoughts of my dream to the back of my mind. I'm still standing by the belief these dreams are nothing. I'm just shaken up.

"Simmons told me you were up early." May throws that out casually, and I curse Simmons for throwing me under the bus. Even if she was concerned.

"May, if I wasn't fine, you'd be the first one to know." I tell her. May gives me a look, but drops the subject. I'm stubborn; she knows that as well as I do.

I look at the corner of the room, where there is darkness, where the light doesn't hit, because it's a corner.

As I look at them, I think back to my dreams, and of the shadows. I shiver, as I remember it. It's just shadows, yet I'm scared of them, for an unknown reason. They just feel... sinister, almost.

"Skye."

I feel a hand touch my shoulder. I jump, in surprise. I feel a shake go up my arm, and before I know it, May's on the floor. I gasp. Did I do that?

"May, are you okay?" I ask, wondering what the hell happened just them. She gets up, brushing herself down.

"I'm fine. I'm glad to see you using the flooring technique I taught you- just don't use it when I'm asking if you're okay," She says, giving me a small smile. Did she think I used a technique? I know for sure that I didn't move. All I felt was a shock go through my arm.

"I think you gave me electric shock, though. Been scuffing your feet against the ground?" May says, and I just mummur in reply. Something freaky just happened, and I can't help but think it's something to do with the shadows of my dreams.


	2. Chapter 2- Dreams

**AN: Just wow. I'm amazed how much followers this has gained so quickly, so thankyou.**

**Please review to tell me your thoughts. :)**

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**CHAPTER TWO- Dreams.**

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_I'm in the lab. It's dark, no lights, apart from one, is on. So really, it's dimly lit. Fitzsimmons is no where in sight. The Fitz bit is valid; he's mainly in the garage with Mack now. I know it's tearing Simmons apart._

_Actually, now I think about it, no-one's in sight. I look around, looking for Simmons- anyone really. The lab's never dark- and Simmons practically lives here. Where are they?_

_"Hello? Simmons?" I call for my friend, getting worried now. I can't remember how I got here. I swear I remember being in my room._

_"Hello?" I call again, raising the tone of my voice, now. I can feel my pulse, as I look around, trying to hear a response._

_"Coulson? Simmons? Fitz?" I call, hoping to get an answer. I think about looking out of the lab, but I'm not moving. It's like I've lost control of my feet. All I can do is call, and turn my head._

_"May?" I try May's name. May's like a super ninja person; she'll come to my rescue. I can rely on May to do that. I look around again, and that's when I see it._

_The shadows._

_The dark, thick, misty shadows forming. The dark, thick, misty shadows approaching me._

_I regain control of my feet, and I back up, away from the deadly shadows._

_I bump into the wall, and my panic skyrockets as I realize there's no where else to go. The shadows have increased in size, and has taken over most if the lab._

_My breathing turns heavy, and I can feel my heart battering in my chest, almost as if it's trying to get out, trying to escape._

_The shadows edge closer, and closer. My breathing gets more rapid, and I pray that someone will come and help me. That someone will come and save me. That the misty darkness will not get me._

_The darkness is around my feet, and going higher. It's wrapping itself around my legs, while surrounding me. The darkness winded around me, keeps winding. It's now covering up to my shoulders. I know it's no use screaming. The darkness has got me._

_I see someone in the doorway, and I squint my eyes, trying to focus on them._

_"Coulson? Coulson?" I call, my voice rough and harsh, in fear._

_The person gets clearer. He's not Coulson. He's not even part of my team._

_"Dad." I say, just as the darkness takes over my body._

_As the darkness wins._

"Skye! Skye!" I wake up, getting pulled out of my dreams... if you can call them dreams. I see Simmons there, her face filled with concern. I push her off me, gently, before sitting up in bed.

"Morning, Jemma." I greet her. She gives me a tight smile.

"Are you okay? You were tosing and turning." Simmons tells me, resting a gentle hand on my shoulder. I nod, yawning. I feel like I haven't even slept.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Why you in my room?" I ask, looking around. I see some things on the floor- just like they always are after dreams of the shadows.

"Coulson and May wants to see us." She says, picking up my stuff for me. I swing my legs out of my bed, and shakes out my hair.

"Okay, I'll be there in a second." I tell her. Simmons nods, and leaves the room. I sigh, and lies down on my bed, thinking about my dream. They were getting very weird now.

_Why was I alone?_

_Who - what - are those shadows?_

_Why are they after me?_

_Is this because of what happened at the temple?_

All these questions and much more swirl around my mind, and plagues my every thought.

I stand up, from my bed, not wanting to keep Coulson waiting.

Coulson sits at his desk, and May stands by his shoulder. Jemma stands further away from them, but has the same serious expression upon her face. I can't help but get flashbacks from when I was growing up, and I got called into the principal's office, and the head nun had been called.

"Skye." Coulson says my name, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. I give him a small smile in return.

"How are you?" He asks me. I shrug.

"I've been better. Sir, what did you want?" I ask him. Him, May and Simmons all look at each other, before back at me, and I'm starting to think I've done something wrong. But why's Jemma here, then?

"Skye, we're just wondering how you are..." Coulson trails off, clicking his fingers, trying to muster up the word.

"Coping," May offers, helpfully, wearing her same neutral expression, her eyes never leaving me. Coulson claps his hands together.

"Yes. We were wondering how you are coping with the events that happened a month ago," He finishes his sentence.

"Cal mentioned to you that the obelisk will change you." May states.

"So, have you actually experienced anything different, any changes?" Simmons asks.

I knew this conversation was going to happen. It was only at matter of when.

I pause, thinking about what my response should be. Should I tell them about the dreams? Nah, I shouldn't. They're nothing. They don't show that I'm changing, and they don't show that the obelisk has affected me in any way, shape or form. And the fact that I keep knocking things over in my sleep is nothing.

"No, I haven't," I answer, simply. They all exchange glances; almost like they know something I don't.

"Skye, are you sure?" Jemma presses further.

"Yes, I'm sure!" I throw my hands in to the air. "If something was happening, I'd tell you," I say, trying hard to make sure I don't seem like I'm lying. I'm in front of The Calvary, so I have to make sure.

I feel bad for lying to them, but then again, the dreams mean nothing, so it's not lying.

"Okay. Simmons will just need to run some tests on you, to make sure your body's okay," Coulson says. I sigh.

Every other day, I have tests done on me. I get why they are testing me. I mean, Cal was going on and on about the 'awakening', so obviously they'd be a little bit weary, but I'm fed up with the constant testing.

_Why don't they just believe me when I say I'm fine._

**_Maybe because you're not._**

_Oh, shut up, inner voice._

"Skye!" Jemma waves her hand in front of my face, and I look at her.

"You were in a little daze. Come on, let's go to the lab." She says, and I groan, pushing all negative thoughts to the back of my mind.

The shadows only exist in my dreams. And that's all they are, Skye.

_Dreams_.


	3. Chapter 3- Love

**AN: The next couple of chapters are going to be updated fast, due to me wanting to get my main plot of this story out before AoS starts up again in America.**

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**Chapter Three - Love.**

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_What's happening to me?_

I can barely sleep, thoughts of my darkened dreams haunting me. And when I do sleep, them shadows come. They leak into my dreams, making even nice dreams unpleasant. I haven't had a nice, normal dream in ages.

And then there's the matter of that everything around me keeps falling each time my emotions raise. I want to tell someone about this, but how do you say that?

I want it to be just my imagination, after everything that has happened leading, and including, the events of the Temple. I tell myself it's just my imagination, but I can't convince myself as I know what I feel.

I feel- well, I don't. I don't feel the same as I did before the temple... before Tripp died. I've been putting my weird dreams down to what my father was saying, and with Tripp... passing on.

But then, this morning.

I had had another one of my dreams. The shadows invaded my dreams again. When I woke up, everything in my room was on the floor, and everything outside my room, within a metre, also was on the floor. I had even affected Jemma's room.

I can't ignore it, I can't pass it off as grief, or my imagination. Something hasn't been right with me. I just don't know what.

"I don't know!" I yell, to myself, slamming my hands down on the kitchen counter. I lower my head down, on to the counter, and sighs.

I'm tired from lack of sleep. The sleep I have been getting isn't sufficient. I wake up feeling like I haven't slept, at all.

"Skye!" I lift my head, and sees Bobbi standing by the wall.

"You're burning the food!" She says, turning off the oven, quickly. I smile sheepishly.

"Sorry," I apologise. I can't believe I forgot that I was cooking.

"It's alright. It's 6 in the morning. I bet you're just tired." She gives me a nice smile, what I return. Or tries to. I have so much thoughts swirling in my head, I find it hard to master a smile.

"How you doing?" She asks me, taking a large gulp of milk. I blink at her, not knowing what to say. Bobbi rests a soft hand on my own hand.

"I know you and Tripplet was good friends. With everything going on, I don't know how you can still get up in the morning. I know I couldn't," She says, in a gentle, kind voice. I shrug.

"I'm fine." I say, instantly regretting how cold my voice seems to her kind one. If I affended her, she doesn't let it on.

"Okay. But remember, Skye, I'm here to listen. I know death is hard on people." Bobbi tells me. I pull back my hand, and head towards the door. Before I leave, I half turn my head towards her.

"I'm used to people leaving me." I whisper, barely audible for me to hear. With that, weather she heard me or not, I leave.

::

I lie on my bed, thinking about when I first joined SHIELD.

I was so niave. This was exciting, and advertourous. I thought I was ready to take on the world. _How niave._

I wanted to find out who I was. Who my parents were. Now, I wish I hadn't.

I close my eyes, letting the memories come flooding back to me.

I think about my first impressions of everyone. Of what I thought of Coulson. May. Simmons. Fitz. Ward.

_Ward_.

He was mysterious. He was robotic. He wasn't my type. My type up to that point was guys who were open with how they felt. My type were people who didn't obey the rules.

But I ended up falling for him.

For Grant Ward.

Little did I know, Ward wasn't a one to obey rules. Well, not SHIELD's rules.

To this day, I still find it hard to believe that Ward was HYDRA, that he wasn't ever loyal to SHIELD. I still find it hard to believe I fell for the bad guy.

He helped destroy the one place I truly felt like was home. I finally thought I could start again.

I had friends. I had parental figures. I had Love.

_Love?_

Did I love Grant?

No. I still do. Did I have to shot him? If I could go back in time, to change one thing, I'd go back in time to before Ward betrayed us, and try to convince him overwise. I'd tell him what ultimately would happen, using my hindsight on the issue.

Not that I'd ever tell this to anyone.

Really, that's a lie. Do I really still love Ward?

No. Of couse not. I'm still in love with the Ward before he went and betrayed us. He's the one I wish I could change time for. Not the Ward who choose to betray us.

I'm in love with the man who teased me in our training sessions. He's long gone, but I can't help but cling on to the feelings of love.

He's the first man I feel for.

I hate the fact he managed to betray us, even though he loved me. I hate that.

I shot the man I love.

But I had to. Not only is he a dangerous man, but for my sake.

It was the only way I could banish any feelings of love towards him. It was the only way I could banish any feelings he had towards me.

I couldn't forget about him with him helping me, with him loving me.

Inside, I was mad at the fact that he could go and betray me, but then help me.

I don't love Grant Ward, I tell myself, firmly. I need to stop thinking of him.

I keep thinking of him, and what might've been if only...

I can't deny to myself I don't love the Ward I fell for, originally. But I certainly don't feel anything but hatred towards the Ward that betrayed us.

When he was down in the vaults, I was dening it. I was dening I ever felt anything towards him. I was blocking them feelings.

Then, when he helped my father, I realized how I could make my heart stop beating so fast around him.

I admitted to myself I had fell in love with a guy who'd betray us. But as much as I had fell in love with him, I had fell out of love with the guy who had betrayed us.

Separated them in my mind made it so much better for me.

The guy I love is a humourless, yet hilarious, guy. The guy I hate with my whole existence is a man who's killed in cold blood, and had betrayed the only people who had truly excepted him as family.

The next step was making him hate me as much as I hate him. Having him love me so devotedly was not doing both of us no good. Plus, it scared me that I basically had power over him, as he loved me so much.

Shooting him was the only way.

It killed two birds with one stone. I could stop him, and I could end his love. I had to show him our love was a thing of the past.

_But I can't help thinking..._

_...What if._

I open my eyes, and sits up. I cast my eyes around my room, and groans.

Apparently, my rooms been trashed. All my stuff, for the second time today, was everywhere.

_What's happening to me?_

**-Somewhere Else-**

_'Never turn your back on your enemy. You taught me that'._

Those words ring through his mind, over and over again. No matter what he does, he can't get them out. _And, boy, he does._

He was willing to give her everything. He would've done everything she wanted.

In a sense, the fact she shot him, saved him. She was turning into his replacement Garrett.

He was misguided. He was blinded. He was-

"Are you coming or what?" He looks towards the source of the voice. His lips turn up in a smile, and he starts to walk again.

_Skye means nothing to him now._


	4. Chapter 4- Weakness

**Chapter Four- Weakness.**

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"Hey, Skye." Fitz greets me, as he sits down next to me, sandwich in hands. I flash him the best smile I can muster.

It feels like ages since I've talked to him.

Maybe because it has been. I mean, Coulson's talked to him more, and Coulson barely leaves his office. Even May has, and May doesn't really talk to anyone.

I want to say that there hasn't been opportunities, but there has been. I'm not a bad person, it's just I don't know what to say to him, without seeming like I'm full of pity.

I've been avoiding him. After all, it was the man I fell for, who had inflicted this upon him. In my mind, I should've been able to talk Ward out of betraying us. What's mad, since I don't know he was HYDRA.

I miss the old days, when everyone on the team was all happy and FitzSimmons was still FitzSimmons.

Of course, we would've never meet Bobbi, or Mack, or Hunter (still trying to decide if that's a bad thing or not).

I want to tell someone. Tell someone about my dreams, about my feelings. About what's happening to me, but I don't know how. I don't know how to talk to my team, like I used to do.

Everyone hates being called niave. I had such a tough life, I prided myself in not being niave. But I was. I thought I was prepared, however, I wasn't. I wish I could be niave once more.

"I'll bet you've been asked if you're okay a lot." I look at Fitz, not sure of how to react to this statement.

"People do that... when s-s-stuff h-happens." Fitz says, mumbing over some words. I continue to stare, still not sure what was happening.

"I would've also asked, before-" He gestures to himself.

"Now, I simply say, if you're not okay... you're not okay." He eats the last bite of his sandwich, and raises. He nods at me, before heading to the door.

"Fitz, wait!" I say, surprising both myself and him. He pauses, and turns to face me.

"I've been getting weird dreams of late. Like, really, really wierd ones. Nightmares, in fact." I tell him. continuing to surprise myself. He heads back over, and sits down, looking interested, but confused.

"I wake up... and everythings on the floor. Fitz..." I trail off, rubbing my forehead.

"What if Cal's right... What if..." I trail off again, resting my head in my hand. I feel Fitz lay a warm hand on my back.

"It's okay." He says simply, before rising again, and leaving me. For some reason, I like the fact that's all he did to comfort me. It made me feel better. And that my moment of weakness was just that. A moment of weakness.

::

_I'm sitting on the sofa, bowl of popcorn in my lap. Simmons is next to me, curled up by Fitz. On the TV, is Frozen._

_Something about this image is not right. Something about this image doesn't feel right._

_We're on the Bus._

_Simmons is cuddling with Fitz. They never do that anymore._

_Coulson and May walk in. Both of them look far more relaxed, and at ease. More how they used to be like, before everything with HYDRA happened. Thry sit down as well, May complaining about the choice of movie._

_The door opens again, and someone else walks in, and takes a seat next to me. I turn, and to my shock, I see Ward. Why is no one reacting to his presence?_

_Why is everyone so relaxed? Why are we wasting time watching movies, like we always used to do? And why, oh why, is the man who betrayed us here?_

_"Skye, remember, we've got training at 6, tommorow. And that's am, not pm." Ward says. I stare at him._

_You're not my SO! Uou've betrayed me- Us! I want to yell that, but I can't use my voice, I can only stare._

_Then, I catch a glimpse of myself in the TV. I have no fringe. It's how it was... before HYDRA._

_I see out of the corner of my eye, misty black smoke leaking into here, and my heart pounds with a sudden realization._

_I'm dreaming._

_And now the shadows are here. They're here, and they're going to get me._

_They start wrapping their misty smoke around Coulson's legs, edging up, encasing his body._

_I want to scream. I want to yell. I want to run. I want to escape. I want... I want to be able do anything to save him, but I can't._

_They're attacking May now, having completely covered Coulson. The others in the room is still watching Frozen, as if nothing was happening. Maybe they can't see._

_The black mist has spread all over the room, and is curling up Simmons, who still continues to stare at the TV, not even agknowleging the smoke._

_I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. I'm screaming, and screaming, but no sound is coming out._

_I can see my chest heaving, and I can feel my heart pounding. The palms of my hands are clammy, and I'm shaking._

_Yet I can't scream. I can't even move. I can't escape them._

_I feel strong arms wrap around me, lifting me up. I turn my head, to look at the person holding me. I'm amazed to see Ward, as he walks to the door, still carrying me. He adjusts how he's holding me, so he's holding me bridal style._

_Then, he starts to run. I see the misty, dark shadows following us, and that's when I realize._

_Ward's saving me._

_He runs, and runs. I can't even begin to process why he's helping me, or how he saved me out of everyone else. How he saw the shadows, but no one else did._

_He puts me down, and looks deep into my eyes. He stares at me, and I notice the shadows wrap themselves around his legs. I open my mouth, and try to cry out again, but it's not use. Ward!_

_He continues to stare at me, his eyes never leaving mine for a second, as the shadows encase him._

_"Your father is the answer to all this," He says, as the shadows fully encase him._

_"Ward!"_

::

My eyes flash open.

My chest is still heaving, my heart is still pounding and the palms of my hands are still clammy.

Everything about that dream seemed so real, even down to Ward saving me.

This is the first dream I've had where the shadows didn't get me.

It's the first dream that someone saved me. _But why Ward?_

I look around my room, and I let a sob. I see my room wrecked again, and I can't take it. I kneel on the floor, attempting to clean up, but I just cry to myself.

My throats raw, so I'm thinking that I might've been able to scream in real life.

The door to my bedroom opens, and I look up, ready to face whoever walks in.

Fitz kneels down next to me, and offers me a warm smile. He helps me pick up my stuff, as I sob.

"Y-you're dr-reams?" He says to me, and I nod.

"Everything in here is a mess," I say, my sore throat making my voice raspy.

"Not just here. Hunter's saying that he felt an.. an... an... e-earthquake. But..., depending the ...damage, it would only be ...light." Fitz says, struggling over his words. I gasp.

"Did I do that?" I ask him, in a shaky voice. Fitz shrugs.

"Who k-knows what's... happening to you," He says. I like talking like this. He's showing me no pity, and I like that.

I bury my head into my knees, crying and shaking.

"Fitz... I'm scared." I whisper weakly in my sore, raspy voice. Just like earlier, he rests his hand on my back.

"I know." He says.

He doesn't tell me it's going to be okay, or it will work out, and that's fine. No one can make me that promise.

_You're father is the answer to all this._

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**AN: This isn't going to be a Skitz story, so don't think that. This was just trying to demostrate how Fitz can understand how Skye feels, always being asked if she's alright. It's showing their friendship.**

Hope you enjoyed it.


	5. Chapter 5- Isolation

**AN: Sorry it's short, I didn't think it was nessary to add anything more.**

**I hope I didn't make Coulson out to be too mean, remember he just wants to do the best thing he thinks he can do, as the director of SHIELD.**

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**Chapter Five- Isolation.**

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_You're father is the answer to all this._

I walk into Coulson's office, where everyone is, as I told them to go there. Fitz is with me, and I'm glad he listened to my problems.

"What do you want, Skye?" Coulson asks, not in a harsh tone, but a soft one. I look at Fitz, who smiles at me, reassuringly.

"I want to tell everyone this, at one time. You asked me if I've had any... changes in me, since the temple." I pause, swallowing my nerves. Would they think me off any different?

"I've been getting these really wierd, dreams. And when I awake, everything in my room is on the floor. Yesterday, when we got that 'earthquake', I was having one of them dreams. The only affected areas of the 'earthquake' was within a 7 metre radius of my room." I tell him- tell them all. Coulson nods, taking it all in.

"How long has this happened for?" He asks me. I flash him a sheepish smile.

"Since the temple." I say. He nods again.

"Okay. Thank you, Skye. For telling us that. Everyone, dismissed." Coulson says. Everyone walks out, looking at me, with concern. The one thing I didn't want to happen. I stay in the room, like May. Coulson looks up at me.

"Do you want to say something else?" He asks me. I nod.

"Well... it's just... I think I know a way to sort out this. Or get any kind of insight on what's happening to me," I tell Coulson. He leans forward, intrigued.

"We... could seek out Cal, and as-"

"Absolutely not!" Coulson interrupts me, after hearing Cal's name.

"But, he knows-"

"No, Skye. He wants me dead- he only wants you!" Coulson says.

"Coulson! Hear me out! He can give some insight on what's happening to-"

"No. That's it, Skye. We'll figure it out." Coulson snaps. I feel my emotions raise.

"Coulson! It's best for my sake!" I yell back, barely registering that everything was shaking.

"Skye! Calm down! I know what's best for your sake, and keeping away from Cal is." Coulson yells.

In that instant, everything falls and flys across the room, as if an earthquake did happen. I feel shaking coming from the ground.

"I need my father!" I yell, before running out, towards my room. Everything outside his office is also on the floor. I'm shocked at what I did- I'm scared at what I did, as I shut my bedroom door.

Why did I get so mad? Straight away, like always when I was younger and I disobeyed the nuns or my new foster parents, I want to go back and apologise, instantly regretting what I did. However, just like I did when I was younger, I stayed curled up in my room.

I bury my head into my arms, that rest on my knees, and I cry.

I'm shaking.

I don't know if it's with fear, or because I'm still recovering from what I just did.

I don't know anything.

Ask me anything about computers, and I could ask you. I can even tell you how it feels to kill someone, or shoot the man I used to love.

But, for the life of me, I cannot tell you what's happening to me. I can't tell you what makes me able to make everything shake.

I know so much, but I don't know what's happening with me.

And that scares me.

It scares me that I know nothing about this, that's it's a unknown matter.

It scares me that no one here knows anything about me.

Everything about me scares me. I don't know what's going to happen to me. I don't know what the obelisk awakened in me.

When I was angry at Coulson, I didn't feel like me.

I haven't felt like me, since the temple. Something's changed in me, and it scares me.

What's happening to me?

::

"I'm sorry." I apologise, to Coulson, later. He looks at me.

"I shouldn't have got mad. You do know best. Sorry." I say to him, dipping my head down, as a sign of respect.

"It's alright, Skye. I should've handled the matter with more care and class. May made that painfully obvious to me." He says to me, pausing from picking up the damage I caused. The damage I caused.

"However, I can't dismiss this matter, so easily. You say this happens in your sleep too. You didn't see what you were doing." Coulson says.

"W-what are you saying?" I say, nerves leaking into my voice.

"I'm saying that you should be put in isolation. Not permently- just when you're sleeping. It's for your's and everyone else's safety." Coulson says. I nod.

"I understand," I tell him. A wave of relief washes over his face.

"Thank God. One other thing. I want you to wear these." He holds up two metal bracelet-like bands.

"We use them on people with... special abilities. It won't stop your power. But it records when your emotions raise, and your location. Just so when your asleep, we can record what is happening." He explains to me. I nod, slowly, taking it all in.

"Also, Simmons will test your health everyday, now, instead of every other day." I nod, and forces a smile upon my face.

"Okay." I say, trying my best to make my voice not shaky. Coulson smiles at me.

"I'm glad you're okay with this. I hope you understand that this is for the best. We need to find out what's happening to you." Coulson says, pulling me into a hug.

"We can do this, on our own. We don't need any outside interference." He whispers.

_Outside interference._

What he means; my father.

I blink back any tears that threaten to fall, and forces a happy smile upon my face.

I understand that he only wants the best for me, but in this moment, I can't help but wish that he would let us find Cal.

At this moment, I realize, I don't want Coulson to be reassuring me, to be comforting me, to be telling me what's happening to me.

_At this moment, I want Cal._

I want my father.


	6. Chapter 6- Dangerous

**AN:/ I don't really like this chapter, my writing felt very stilted.**

* * *

**Chapter Six- Dangerous.**

* * *

Being in isolation isn't as bad as I thought.

Yes, I feel like I'm a criminal, and I feel cut off from the rest of the world, but it could be worse. The room does it job: when I've knocked over things in my dreams, only the cell gets affected, no where else. I've been in here for 3 weeks, and so far, it's hasn't been as bad as I had thought it to be.

One thing that has got worse though is my dreams. They haven't got worse as in more terrifying, but they've certainly got more intense. Also, the location has changed. Normally, the setting is normally on the bus, or in the labs, but since I've been put in isolation, the setting has been the isolation cell. It's almost like the shadows can't get to me anywhere else. Dad keeps coming, but only ever saying vague words. Codes I can't unravel.

As for the rest off the team, they have been giving me looks, or every time I look not okay, they keep asking me if I'm alright. More than they did before. I know it's only concern, but it's pretty annoying. I mean, I'm not really speaking to them to know if they are treating me differently. But that's on me. I haven't really spoke to them since the temple, not like I used to, so it's hard to judge if they are.

_But at least they tried to speak to you. Now they don't._

The little nagging voice in the back of my head has a point. Before they found out that something was wrong with me, they tried to speak to me. Now they don't. Maybe they are just giving me my space.

_Maybe they think you're a freak._

I don't know if I'm lonely or not. I mean, it's been forever since I've had a nice chat with Simmons, or anyone really. The only thing I've talked to anybody about of late is my abilties.

I just wish none of this ever happened. I wish I had never went into that temple. Raina wasn't even stopped.

::

_The room is dark. The room's always dark, though. The ceiling does hold lights, but a night they are turned off. The camera's can still see. SHIELD obviously still has night cameras. And, yes, there is cameras. I tend to try and forget that fact, but at the end of day (literally), I can still see the little red flashing lights in the corners of the room._

_It's at times in the night like this I realize I am lonely. This isolation room isn't as bad as I thought, but it's still an isolation room. I'm even more isolated from my peers than I am with my special abilities._

_I block it out my sight in the waking hours, but I see the looks others give me. They still treat me like I'm part of the team, but they still are on their guard. Even Simmons, my best friend. It's only at night, in my sleeping hours I really think about this, and how I feel._

_"Lonely, isn't it. Been treated diffrently." I look up and is faced with Ward, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed against his chest._

_This isn't the first time he's visited my dreams._

_" Yeah," I say. I don't tell him to go away, like I did at first. He's the only conversation I've been getting that's not ability related._

_"So, how are you feeling, today?" Grant asks me. Grant, over the 2 weeks has been a regular occurance in these dreams off mine. Him, unlike everybody else, cares about my well being, and what these dreams are doing to my mental health, whereas everybody else just wants to know what these abilities are. I know he's just my subconciousness conquered up in a form, but it helps. These dreams are seperated from the ones with the shadows. The shadows my father comes into to. These are dreams that don't feel like dreams. It has no unrealistic features, except Grant Ward being here. I don't tell anyone about these dreams._

_"Good. Simmons ran yet more blood tests- how much of my blood does the woman need? Her, Coulson and May asked- interriogated- me more about my dreams. About the shadows." I tell him. Grant nods._

_"so, basically the same as yesterday," He says, giving me a small smile. I nod._

_"Pretty much. Er! I just wish they'd leave me alone, or ask me how I feel!" I exclaim, frustratedly. Grant shrugs._

_"Nothing I can do about that, Rookie," he states, and I lie down on my bed, sighing loudly._

_" Yeah, yeah. I know."I say, playing with an end of my hair. Even though these dreams make me feel like I haven't slept at all, I prefer them over the other ones._

_" You need to start admitting to yourself that their distantacing themselves away from you, instead of the other way round, and that it hurts," Grant comments._

_" I do." I say back._

_"Skye. You know what I mean. You need to admit it when you're awake," I know he's right, and I don't like it._

_"Whatever," I dismiss his comment._

_"Running away from your problems won't make them disapear. Facing up to them will. You need face up to your problems, Skye." Grant points out. I groan._

_" Skye. You need to be with people who actually care for you're well being, who doesn't isolate you." I sit up, and looks at him._

_"well, I can't. You`re not here nor real," I reliate back. Grant sighs._

_"I meant your father."_

::

I'm sitting on the sofa. May, Hunter, Bobbi, Mack, Fitz and Simmons are also in the room. Bobbi, May and Simmons is talking. Hunter, Mack and Fitz are talking. I am not talking. Nor being agknowleged. Mack keeps glancing at me: as if I am about to make a earthquake any second now. Hunter's giving me similar looks. Fitz gave me a smile as he came in, but left me alone. I know they are leaving me alone out of respect, but it kind of stings. Suddenly, not even Jemma's treating me the same. I knew this would happen.

_You need to face your problems, Skye._

Grant's words ring in my mind, as I sigh. I'm not fine with the isolation. I want them to pay more attention to how I feel. When they ask me how I feel, I want them to actually care. He never said I had to say it out loud.

Feeling dejected, I stand up and heads towards the door. I best go back to my cell. It's not like I'll be missed anyway.

" Hey, Skye." I look up to see Bobbi, smiling at me, from the door of my cell. I smile back, happy that someone is talking to me. Over than Grant, I haven't really been spoken to, except in my check ups. But they're checkups.

"Wanna come train with me?" she asks. All thoughts off how this may be dangerous goes out my head, and I nod, taking upon her offer.

If I ever thought fighting with May was intense... I really needed to fight with Bobbi. Unlike May, she doesn't teach me the move, then works on it with me. We have a combat fight, and she corrects my moves as we go along. Despite it being crazy intense, I feel myself enjoying it, and actually having fun.

The next few moments goes slowly, yet so fast.

Bobbi aims her punch, and I hold up my arms, to defend myself. I criss cross them in front of my face, and closes my eyes, actually slightly frightened though I know Bobbi won't hurt me.

I feel warmth, hot electrical warmth spread down my arms, as Bobbi's fist connects with my arms. Then, I hear a loud crash. I open up my eyes, seeing Bobbi slumped against the wall.

" Oh my God!" I cry as Hunter, from the doorway cries Bobbi's name. We both run over to Bobbi, who's still against the wall, unconcious. Hunter turns to me. I have my hands over my mouth, in horror. Hunter shoots a murderous glare at me.

" You-you-you Monster!" he yells, and I run off.

* * *

_I was originally going to do it that she hurts Simmons, but I wanted someone to call her a monster, and Hunter's the right person, so it had to be Bobbi._

_I'm not trying to make Hunter seem mean, he's just concerned for Bobbi._

I'd love to hear your thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7- Monster

AN:/ I hope you like this chapter. :)

* * *

**Chapter Seven- Monster.**

* * *

Monster.

You're a monster. You're a monster. You're a Monster. A monster. A monster. A monster. Monster. Monster. Monster.

"Ahh!" I scream, my hands woven into my hair, as I sit on my bed, my head bent down. I hit my head, squeezing my eyes, trying to get Hunter's word out of my head.

I had ran off, and locked myself in my isolation room.

That was 7 hours ago.

No one has came to look for me. I don't know if Bobbi's alright, or if she's not.

I bang my head, gently, against the wall, the words circling around my head. I know I'm not a monster... Hunter's wrong.

But the image of Bobbi slumped against that wall is imprinted in my mind, with Hunter's words, and I know it's not true.

Bobbi wasn't going to hurt me, but I hurt her.

I fall of my bed, and curl up in a corner, softly crying to myself. This ability... It makes me into a monster.

Bobbi talked to me when no one else did. She didn't act as if I had something wrong with me- even Jemma made her distance between us.

I remember how happy I felt when Bobbi offered to help me train. I remember how all thoughts of how that could be dangerous left my head. I had been making sure that I don't do anything that could risk my team, but there I did it.

I left my isolation room, to go train, and now. I've hurt Bobbi. I'm stupid. I should've been more careful, I should've refused. I should've realized the risks of accepting that offer. But I'm stupid- I didn't think. I let my emotions rule me, instead of my mind.

Just like I did when I fell for Ward. Now, my team... They're going to hate me.

Images of the hatred in Hunter's eyes, in Hunter's voice comes back, haunting me alongside his words. He hated me in that moment, and he should. Bobbi only tried to keep me company, and in return I hurt her. She's most likely, getting medical care, still unconcious. From me.

The team isn't just going to keep their distance, they're never going to speak to me again. I'll be locked down into full isolation, and... and...

I don't even know what Bobbi's state is. She was unconscious when I left her. She could be seriously hospitalized. No one's came for me. Showing that there's bad news what they don't want to tell me just in case I hurt them, and everyone's scared of me. And so they should.

I'm a monster.

::

"Skye."

_I'm still curled up in the corner, crying to myself, my throat and eyes getting sore._

_"Skye."_

_I don't react, and I don't turn to look. I hurt Bobbi- who was only trying to help me._

_"Skye!"_

_I look up now, as the voice raises their voice, in a frustrated fashion. I'm greeted by the sight of Grant, leaning against the wall, again. His eyes are soft with concern._

_"Skye," His tone turns gentle again, as I blink up at him, wondering when I fell asleep._

_"It's not your fault." He tells me in an assuring tone, but I can't believe him. I know it's not true._

_"You can't control your ability." He adds on. I shaje my head._

_"S-she was just trying to help me. The only one who tried to talk to me since isolation," I whisper, horrified even in my sleep at what I did._

_"Skye. Look at me," Grant kneels down next to me, and lifts up my chin using his hand. He looks deeply into my eyes._

_"It isn't your fault, Skye," He repeats. I lean into him, and starts to silently cry._

_"What do I do, Grant? They're going to hate me. Think I'm a monster." I look back up at him, his arms wrapped around me, now._

_"What do I do?" I parrot, my voice barely audible._

_"Simple." I turn my head, seeing my father standing in the room, as well, now. I turn to face Grant again, only to see he's no longer there. I stand up, and faces Cal._

_"Come find me, Daisy. I'll explain this all to you- I'll teach you how to control your ability. I'll teach you not to be scared off it." He says, in a gentle, father-like voice._

_"But-"_

_"If you're going to say anything about being loyal to Coulson, just think. He's got you in isolation. And you know that now, he's going to put you in total lock down." Cal makes sense. He's just mirroring my thoughts. I can't argue with myself._

_"But, I can't." I want more guidence._

_"Can't is just a word. Words can be changed, Daisy. Can't can be changed. The t is an extra letter you don't need anymore." Cal sits on my bed, and I join him, wanting to hear him talk- hearing him make my problems better._

_"You are a computer genius, correct? When you can't find out the correct codes, do you give up, because you can't?" I shake my head._

_"Then, don't give up now. Can't is an obsticle that you can overcome. You find out all these computer codes, you pull through because you don't give up." Cal pauses._

_"Daisy, you will overcome your fear of the shadows, of your ability. But you need to believe in yourself. You need to realize that These people are no good for you. I love you, Daisy." With them final words, Cal disappears in a poof of misty smoke._

_Misty smoke._

_My heart excellerates as I realize the shadows are here. I lean against the wall that my bed is against, and closes my eyes._

_There's no point running from the shadows. There is nowhere to run. And I know that the shadows always win._

_::_

I open my eyes, awake. I'm in the position I was in when the shadows got me. What confuses me, because I swear I fell asleep crouched in the corner of the room. I shake off any thoughts.

**I know what I'm going to do.**


	8. Chapter 8- Escaping

**AN:/**** I wanted to get this up before the 3rd, so here it is. I bet america is looking forward to AoS again. Sadly, I live in the UK. :( I won't have AoS for a couple of weeks. Tommorow is also my parent's evening.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight- Escaping.**

* * *

I know what I'm going to do.

It's obvious. No matter how much I ask, no matter how much I dream, Coulson will never agree to find Cal. And no matter what I do now, the team isn't going to look at me the same. Bobbi was being friendly and I hurt her. Hunter is right; I'm a monster. Cal knows the answers to this, he knows about what happened to us when we touch the obelisk. The shadows of my dreams always leads me to Cal; he always makes an apperance.

I need to find Cal. I love and respect Coulson like a father, but right now, I need my actual father. My dreams have been building up to this for the past 3 weeks. Grant always mentions my father. The solution was right in front of me. I don't need Coulson to find Cal, I need to go to Cal.

_"Shouldn't you be going?"_

_I lift up my head from where it lies in my hands, and looks at Grant, who's leaning against his usual spot on the wall. I tuck my hair behind my ears._

_"You decided you'd go find Cal. That was an hour ago, Skye," Grant speculates. "You've just sat there, head in hand." He adds on. I lean against the wall by my bed, sighing. Grant simply raises an eyebrow._

_"I can't." I say to him, wondering why I even thought this was a good plan. A good idea, really, as there is no planning whatsoever._

_"Why not?" Grant sighs, after a long pause, rolling his eyes. He knows me well enough to know I wanted to be asked._

_"I don't know how." I lie on the bed, chucking my pillow in the air. Grant gives me a look, that is clearly telling me to elbourate._

_"I don't know where Cal is. It's kind of a big flaw in my master plan." I tell him, hugging the pillow to my chest, now, exhaling deeply._

_"How about you ask him?" Grant suggests. I turn on to my side, giving him a look._

_"If I could, I would. But he isn't here- and it would serve no purpose if he was," I point out to him. Grant rolls his eyes._

_"Pay attention to your surroundings, rookie." He says to me. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. He points to the side of me I can't see. I look over, and lets out a shocked squeal. Cal stands near the wall, watching me and Grant interract. I look back at Grant, only to find that he no longer is there._

_"I suppose you're here to tell me you're location." I say to Cal, crossing my legs after sitting up. I can't lie comfortably around him like I can around Grant._

_"Not quite, Daisy," My nose screws up at the usage of the name Daisy. It's a nice name, I don't have anything physically against it, I just like to be called Skye, no matter if that's my real birth name._

_"Then why are you here?" I question Cal, leaning forward in anticipation of his answer._

_"To tell you where to go," I give him a look of confusion. I'm not the cleverest of people (FitzSimmons), but I do know that Cal telling me where to go to find him is his location._

_"I'm not going to tell you where my location is outright- it's not as close to yours as you'd like." Cal adds on to his sentence, hoping to shine some light on what he's trying to tell me. Unfortunately, he just confuses me more. And here I thought it was the daughter who's meant to be confusing._

_"I'm am going to tell you where to go though. I'll be here, giving you steps along the way," Cal says a bit more, joining me in sitting on my bed. He lays his hands on his legs._

_"The first step you need to take is leaving this place- then check into a hotel, or really a motel. Keep a low profile. That's all I'm going to tell you, Daisy. You're intelligent, you can work it out." Cal stands up again._

_"That's all?" I say, also standing up, to face him eye to eye._

_"Yes. Baby steps, Daisy. Baby steps." He turns away, as if he was walking out the door, as if he was really there. "Oh yeah," he turns back around._

_"One other thing, Daisy. Make sure you keep a harness of on those powers. Wouldn't want to harm a cilivilian." With that, Cal disapears from my sight in the blink of an eye._ Keep a harness on my powers? I'm an adult; I know I should do that. No matter how unknown this all is to me. Plus, with these bracelets, I can keep a harness on them more easily.

These bracelets.

Memories if when Coulson told me about them comes flooding back, and I remember. He said they track my location. My location.

I sit down on my bed with a humph.

I can't go, I can't. Not with these. SHIELD would find me within the hour of knowing I'm gone. My one hope, my little sparkle, my little flame, glimmer of hope has been shut off. Destroyed.

_"Why are you sulking now?" I look over at the owner of that sighing tone. Grant has appeared again, standing in his usual stance. I give him a glare._

_"I'm not sulking," I deny. Grant lifts up an eyebrow at me, showing just how much he doesn't believe me._

_"Then why aren't you going and finding Cal?" He asks in a bored tone._

_"Because of these!" I hold up my wrist. I see regonistion in Grant's eyes and I know he gets why I'm 'sulking'. (Although, I'm totally not.)_

_Grant walks over to me, covering the room in seconds with his long strides. He sits down next to me, his leg brushing against mine. I feel electric jolts as our legs touch._

_"Hold out your wrists," He gently orders, and I comply. He rests his hands on my wrists- on the bracelets. He turns them, and a satisfying click comes, making the bracelets fall off. I look up at him, my eyes wide in amazement._

_"I was senior agent- we know these stuff." He says casually, as an explantion. I grin at him._

_"Thanks!" I say, feeling a burst off happiness come through me. He gently pushes me down._

_"Now, you need to awake," He tells me, and I close my eyes, welcoming the darkness, for once._

::

My eyes open, and I sit up with a quick jolt, my senses alert. I look at my wrists, staring at them amazed. The bracelets were no longer on them. I look at the floor, where, in my dream, they had clattered to the floor. I stare in disbelief as I see them, lying on the floor. I nudge them under the bed with my foot. I need to go, now.

I walk quickly down the corridors, trying to blend in with the shadows as I go, hoping no one would spot me. I'm a monster, after all, in their opinion.

"Skye!" I look to see Fitz. I pause, like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I was just... coming, Bobbi's fine," Fitz informs me, and a wave of relief flows over me. A heavy weight is lifted from my shoulders. But the point still stands; they'll think I'm a monster. Fitz looks at me, as if it just connects in his mind that I'm out my room.

"Where you... going?" He asks me. Think, Skye, think.

"Er... the toilet?" It comes out more as a question. Fitz nods, buying it. It helps we're standing by the toilets. I open up the door, and goes in. I hear footsteps, and I know he walked away. I stay, leaning against the door for a couple more seconds, my heart pounding against my chest. I open up the door, looking left and right before leaving.

The whole power thing may be unknown to me, but when it comes to running away; I'm in my element.


	9. AN

Sorry to those who thought this was an update.

As you've probably guessed, I've put this on Hiatus. I, as an AoS fanfic author, isn't on hiatus, but this story is.

I have recently lacked the inspiration to write this story, as with the season playing out how it is and how it's contradicting what I speculated so I'm thinking about starting this up again after season 2 has ended. (I live in England so I'm like a month behind Americans).

It doesn't help I've been really busy with revising for my GCSEs as well, and next week I've got my first exam. (If you don't count my spanish speaking assessment). So, yeah, The Darkness Inside of Me is now on hiatus.

I'll soon be publishing a new fanfic, that's I've got inspiration from how the season is playing out, so I'll appreciate if you kept your eyes peeled for that.

\- Lissy.


End file.
